Relationship expert Guy Blews will always believe one thing – balance is the essence to a great relationship; in fact, it is the essence to life.
We are not really educated to be balanced in our approach to life, or the goals we wish to achieve. We seem to push everything to extremes. I would like to promote the virtues of balance against those extremes.
If we could be a little more balanced in our approach to everyday events, then we would all find it easier to reach our goals and we might enjoy the journey far more. I can apply this to many things; sports, food, money, religion & love.
If we look at sports, if we look at a professional athlete and his regime, his life, his achievements and his downfall, everything is pushed to extremes, which are ultimately detrimental to his life and his health – the two things he was trying to promote. I could be talking about a tennis player, a basketball star or a football legend – each one of these becomes so hell bent on his success that he becomes (1) boring – by doing the same thing over and over again, so he is one dimensional, (2) obsessive – as his whole life is driven into the ground by one goal, and (3) crippled – because his body took such a pounding, so repetitively, that once he reaches middle age, he is on first name terms with the janitor in the hospital. Exercise should be consistent, varied and respectful; we should push ourselves to the limits of what our bodies can handle, not to extremes of another’s expectations.
If we look at food, then we see that we have taken everything to excess – we eat too much, we gorge ourselves on unhealthy food and then we try to maintain a fad diet by eating ‘fat free’, saccharin drenched bastardizations of standard products which only serve to put our bodies out of whack with what is natural. Rather than eating the ‘original’, natural version of something, we decide to scoff the ‘fake’ version because somebody told us it was better; unfortunately, it is extremely bad for us to eat these ‘diet’ foods. We would be far better to eat the ‘original’ food, a little less but more regularly… this would keep our metabolism going in a balanced and healthy way which would balance out our weight and our mental state in the perfect place.
If we think about money, we are now on a crashing downward spiral because we took profit and loss to an extreme, we pushed our credit to the point of no return and now the pendulum is swinging back towards us so fast that we cannot get out of the way. If we were a little more balanced with our approach, then we would only buy the house we could afford, not the one we could pretend to afford; we would drive the car we had saved up for, not the one we like to think we should have; and our jeans wouldn’t have to cost $250 because the pocket had a pretty logo emblazoned on it. We deserve to be whacked in the face (and the pocket) for this because we tipped the balance of our bank accounts and took the whole credit and greed thing to extremes.
I don’t know where to go with religion; the whole concept is so ridiculous and hateful – religion teaches balance, but practices extremes; religious leaders teach humility yet they practice theft, wealth and power; congregations pray for peace but accept hatred against other religions and then start wars which simply perpetuate the hatred… there is nothing left to say, and what ever I do say will make no difference anyway.
And as for love, where do I start? We think the extreme of marriage is a norm, a right of passage, a sign of success. We don’t bother with relationships that we feel might not get us to the alter, we use every date as an interview and we don’t see the irony in the word ‘wedlock’ or the validation we seek by desperately forcing ourselves down the aisle. If we accepted that life is full of change, if we viewed the love we were with as the right person for right now, then we might find that taking the pressure off the situation would enable us to have better relationships that lasted longer, rather than having full on wedding ceremonies that break the bank, end in divorce and shatter our children’s perception of what love is all about. Love should flow, it should be allowed to grow, wither or move on, we should learn to accept the balance of human nature and we should not try to force ourselves into situations that only lead to despair and disaster. If we were a little more balanced in our outlook we could accept the change and grow from the experience.
In this world of excess and extremes, of ‘miseducation’ and lies, there is a real need for balance, for a logical outlook and a truthful solution. The changes required are not so monumental; but they are personal and they are necessary if we are to progress and survive in the long run.
Balance, people. Let us try to find a course that allows a sportsman to rest; enjoys the food we are given without excess; spends the money we earn, not the money we think we deserve; accepts that life is ever-changing and just because we no longer have that same desire, we do not need to berate the mother/father of our children, we should try to move forward with understanding.
Balance – it’s a lesson we need to be aware of constantly and a lesson we should be teaching our children now, not a battle to be confronted when we are too set in our ways to accept the truth.
Guy Blews – www.RealisticRelationships.com